I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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