My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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