I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We're too hungover to prance.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
