Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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