Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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