I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
