She's JV to your varsity
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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