Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize