I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
