smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
is that a dick in a sweater?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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