i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize