I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
