Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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