Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
