My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
