Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize