Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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