hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Found your dick twin last night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
