Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
