Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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