First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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