just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize