? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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