I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
