You're completely useless in the revolution.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
