You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He better not be in your backpack
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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