There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
