i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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