Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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