it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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