i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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