Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
