He asked me if I "almost moaned"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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