Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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