What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize