Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
