I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
