I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
