I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
