It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
