he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
