I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
