Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
