I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
