Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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