I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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