I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
