well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
