I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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