My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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