it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
