Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
