In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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