Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
