I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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