Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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