Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
