Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
